Hobgoblin
by MissFive-0
Summary: After a successful away mission to Marcos XII, Bones is given a gift - it's not his fault he has a weird sense of humour, dammit.


**Hobgoblin**

The command crew of the starship Enterprise sat on luxurious cushions around the low table, their knees touching with every movement. Jim sat at one end with Spock on his right and McCoy on his left. The Chancellor of Marcos XII sat facing Jim at the opposite end of the long table, he beamed at them all as he gestured for the servants to bring forward their meals.

"It truly is an honour to welcome such distinguished guests to our home, Captain Kirk." The Chancellor said, raising his glass for a toast.

Jim inclined his head and smiled, "Thank you, Chancellor. It is, of course, our honour to have been welcomed with such hospitality."

If there was one thing that still surprised McCoy about his best friend and Captain, it was his skills in diplomacy. McCoy had witnessed first hand over the years, especially during their time at the academy, how much stock Jim had put into such matters, but now as Captain he had become a highly skilled diplomat that could charm the dew off the honeysuckle. It certainly led to fewer bar fights, so McCoy definitely wasn't complaining.

A young waif of a girl set down a plate of various fruits in front of him and he ran a critical eye over everything to check he recognised the items – it wouldn't do to end such a nice day with Jim going into anaphylactic shock. Once satisfied that the fruit was indeed safe to eat, McCoy gave Jim a small nod and watched as he stuck in with delight. He didn't think anything would ever replace Jim's love of apples but mango and melon came pretty damn close. McCoy watched as Spock daintily cut his own portion into smaller pieces and speared them with the fork, and took great enjoyment out of rolling his eyes as soon as Spock glanced up. Spock merely raised an eyebrow that by now McCoy knew was Vulcan shorthand for _'Fuck off'_ , he grinned behind his glass.

Their visit to Marcos XII had lasted for three days with this meal serving as their farewell feast; they had been tasked with establishing connections between Marcos XII and the Federation, and to see how a deal could be mutually beneficial for both societies. Jim had been a bundle of energy ever since they had beamed down to the surface, he and the Chancellor had hit it off straight away and the talks had gone off without a hitch. Originally, the away team had consisted of Jim, Spock, himself, and three security officers, but an invitation had been extended to the remainder of the senior bridge crew after Jim had explained how skilled they were at their jobs and how much of a family they were.

In McCoy's opinion, this mission ranked pretty damn high on his list of favourites – the fact that his 'favourites' list only consisted of three worlds while his 'disaster' list was probably into triple digits at this point was of little concern at present. In fact, Marcos XII also had another point in its favour – they had their own blend of something very similar to bourbon. They had all shared a tipple after signing the contract and McCoy had certainly enjoyed it, he couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly it was but there was something about the taste that left him very satisfied.

Eventually though, the feast came to an end and farewells were made. "I hope we will have the chance to dine together again in the future, Captain Kirk. It has brought my people and I great joy to have you here." The Chancellor gushed happily. McCoy missed Jim's reply as the server from earlier chose that precise moment to place a rather large and heavy bottle in his hands.

"Uh, what-" He started, unsure. McCoy looked around and spotted Scotty watching with barely contained interest. Luckily, the Chancellor had finished his goodbyes with the rest of the away team and turned to him.

"Ah, Dr McCoy! We hope you will enjoy your gift, Aaliyah here informed me that you were quite taken with our infusion." He beamed.

McCoy shot a glance at the young, red faced girl to his left and lifted the bottle to inspect it further. "Thank you, Chancellor. It's a mighty kind gift and I will certainly enjoy it immensely." He said, smoothly. His Southern breeding wouldn't allow for anything else, of course. Then he caught sight of the label on the bottle, or to be more precise…the name. The amused snort burst forth before he could stop it and soon he was laughing so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes.

"Bones?" Jim nudged him. "Bones, are you okay?" McCoy flapped a hand at him and nodded, still laughing too hard to speak.

"I take it this means he likes the gift?" The Chancellor inquired.

"Yes, I believe it does, Chancellor." Spock replied, opening his communicator to request a beam out.

The Chancellor and surrounding servants looked thrilled that their gift had been accepted and waved goodbye as the crew faded away in a swirl of light.

As soon as they rematerialised on the ship McCoy felt a hand grip his arm and lead him off to the side of the transporter room. "Okay, what the hell was that? Seriously, Bones?"

McCoy made a conscious effort to calm himself down and rein in his mirth. Taking a deep breath, he turned the bottle to face Jim. His friend frowned for a moment before comprehension dawned and a grin tugged at his lips. The laughter started slowly and didn't reach quite the same level of hysteria as his own had, but the mischievous glint shined in his eyes.

"Spock? Could you come over here for a moment, please?" Jim called, chuckling. Spock nodded to the Ensign he had been talking to and joined them in their corner.

"Captain." He greeted. "I trust that your mental faculties have returned to their usual level, Doctor?"

McCoy rolled his eyes and snorted again, "What's wrong, Spock? I wasn't behaving logically enough for you?"

"I believe that the correct question, Doctor, would be when do you ever behave in a logical manner?" Spock replied, quickly.

"Bones has something to show you, Spock. We thought that perhaps you'd like to know what was so funny." Jim said before McCoy had the chance to fire his own retort back.

Raising an eyebrow, Spock turned his attention to the bottle that was still gripped tight in McCoy's hands. His lips thinned and McCoy was almost positive he saw his right eye twitch.

The label read Hobgoblin.

"I see." Spock intoned.

Shaking his head with a chuckle, McCoy clapped a hand to Spock's shoulder. "We've known each other a long time, Spock. You know our repartee is harmless fun really – it's what friends do."

Glancing between McCoy and Jim, Spock relaxed minutely. "Indeed."

"What do you say we crack this beauty open in my quarters? Celebrate a job well done and all that jazz?" McCoy offered.

"Sure thing, Bones." Jim nodded, eagerly. "Spock?"

"Alcohol holds little appeal to Vulcans, I had planned to finish the report on Marcos XII." He replied.

"Aw c'mon, Spock. I've been known to make a mean hot chocolate." McCoy grinned.

Hesitating only briefly, Spock dipped his head in acceptance. "Very well."

The three men turned and left the transporter room together, heading to McCoy's quarters to enjoy the very thoughtful gift from the Chancellor. After all, how could he have refused such a delightful beverage, especially one named after one of his best friends?

-END-


End file.
